The Forgotten One
by MyukiTod
Summary: A new child has arrived at Wammy's orphanage and she has touched Beyond Birthday's heart. What will happen when L decides to take her away from him?


The Forgotten One

-Myuki-

It was a cold night in January. January tenth to be even more precise. A gentle, soft snow fell. The wind did not blow.

Down a dark street stood a large mansion. An orphanage to be exact. A large orphanage.

A tall, brick wall surrounded the orphanage. The only entrance was a large metal gate. The yard was filled with toys left by the children. They had forgotten to put them away before the night had fallen and the snow began. A light sprinkle of a sparkling white dust covered everything.

Including the bundle.

There, on the front step of the house, lay a small, sleeping bundle. Wrapped inside the tattered blanket lay a baby girl.

A loud squeak shattered the silent night as an old, careworn man opened the gates. He was carrying multiple bags from the local grocery store. The shattering noise aroused the baby, and she began to cry.

Quillish Wammy set the bags down and picked up the tiny bundle. A note had been tucked under the blanket and in scribbled penmanship it read, "Turn her into something worth while. She'll never amount to anything with her life as it is now…" That was all. No name followed to give the identification of the baby or her abandoner.

"…and L was just coming home tomorrow…" The man sighed and cuddled the little girl close. "I guess it couldn't hurt..." he muttered to himself. Balancing the grocery bags in his arms, he was careful not to suffocate the child.

He pushed open the large door and was met by two small children. The first little boy tugged at Quillish Wammy's sleeve- he was demanding to see the crying bundle. The other boy remained where he stood alone by the stairway. He was clothed in black and his green eyes glistened in the light.

"B, could you help me with the groceries?" Quillish Wammy asked the latter. The boy simply nodded and stepped forward to take a bag of food for the residents of the household. As he made his way to the kitchen with the bags, he glanced back at the baby girl.

"Nothing…" he muttered, "I see nothing…"

"What did you say, B?" Quillish Wammy inquired.

"Nothing," the boy insisted and proceeded into the kitchen.

Only he knew that he saw no name above the girl's head. Without a name, she had no life span. He could see nothing above her head. It was the first time he had not seen death before his eyes. His cursed eyes. The eyes he was born with. The eyes that could see the name and lifespan of any person he met. Later these eyes became known as the Shinigami's eyes, but how would a simple orphan at the age of four know such a thing? B only knew that he had the curse, and that this nameless girl was special. She was different to him. Even if after she had been given a name her lifespan appeared, she still provided him with hope. Without the knowledge or approval of anyone, from that moment on, she belonged to him.

He set his bag of groceries on the table and began to unpack its contents. A jar of strawberry jam, several packets of tea, multiple boxes of sugar cubes, and other various sweets.

"Thank you, B. You may go now if you like. I might run to the store to buy supplies for our new resident." Wammy said with a soft, reassuring smile. B only nodded and went back out to the entrance of the grand mansion. He stood by the stairway and observed his predecessor.

A was playing with the baby girl merrily. His black hair glistened and his deep blue eyes shined in delight. Still the small baby had no name, no lifespan. Her death was yet to be determined.

"Have you a name for her?" Quillish Wammy asked as he emerged from the kitchen. He began to pull on his coat. B only stared at the man with wide eyes while A's lit up in delight.

"We should call her something that has to do with the snow!" A said enthusiastically.

"No…" said B quietly, "Her name should be Anna… Anna Makesman…" He watched carefully as the name appeared above the girl's head, accompanied by a life span. B gave a heavy sigh.

A jumped in joy, "That's a great name!" He beamed happily.

Quillish Wammy only gave a hearty laugh and a nod of approval. He then said his goodbyes to the two boys and slipped out the door.

A glared at B as soon as he was gone, "Just because you gave her a real name, doesn't make her one of us. You didn't think, again! She needs a cover name, like we all do." He scolded, "She can't be 'A', that's my name. She needs a different one."

B only stared at A. He knew that A wouldn't be around for very long. He could see it with his own two eyes.

"Then go with your suggestion for a cover up." B said, "'Miyuki' means 'beautiful snow' in Japanese, doesn't it? To make it unique drop out the first 'i' and it will be 'Myuki' with the same meaning, but a unique spelling. Name her that."

A only gave B a cold, hard stare before he slowly nodded his head. No matter how slowly he nodded, his black hair still bounced as he did so.

"So it's settled," B said solemnly before turning and making his way back up the large, grand staircase.

You may wonder how an ordinary four-year-old and a six-year-old may have such deep conversation, but as it is, the two were not ordinary. Both A and B had extraordinary intellectual powers and were already more intelligent than the average adult. Their power of deduction was extremely high, and they were already able to stand in the line of duty if need be.

A began to pay his attention to the girl he held in his arms. B watched jealously from the second story stairs. His eyes flared with hatred as his predecessor handled his girl. His Anna. His. He wouldn't stand for it, but what was there to do? He made his way to his room as an evil thought crossed his mind. She was his, and he wouldn't allow for A to take her away.

The next day, Quillish Wammy waited impatiently at the entry hall. He tapped his foot on the wooden floor as he glanced at the grandfather clock for the fourth time in the last ten minutes.

"He should be here… he's ten minutes late…" The inventor said nervously. All he could think of was that something had gone wrong with the transportation, and Wammy's house's most important former resident had not made it home safely.

Just as the horrifying thought crossed his mind, the great door swung open and a small, eight-year-old boy with dark hair and faded eyes stepped inside the hall. He was carrying a single bag and wore a plain white shirt with faded blue jeans.

"Welcome home, L!" Quillish Wammy and A said in unison. Baby Myuki was still too small to speak, but she gave a small squeal at the sound of everyone's excitement.

B stood alone by the staircase. No one ever bothered to ask him why, but he liked to stand there merely for the fact that you could observe everyone well. He watched L. He saw L's name. L's lifespan. He grimaced when he saw how long it was. How long L really had before he would die. B observed as A handed Myuki, his Myuki, over to L. If anything he hated more than A taking ownership of her, it was that L would get his dirty hands on her, into her mind. He knew what it was like to play L's games. He wouldn't let his Myuki fall victim to that as well.

He didn't notice that his eye was twitching as L handled Myuki. He hated the fact that L was even able to lay his hands on her. He loathed L. He wished that Myuki would reject him. He hoped that she would cry and only he would be the one to soothe her. But alas, she did not reject L. She seemed just as content in his arms as she had been in A's.

"Foolish child." He murmured. Then he gave them all a dirty look of hatred before turning and speeding up the stairs.

L only glanced at him before returning his attention to the baby girl in his arms. "What's her name?" he asked, brushing her jet-black hair out of her eyes.

"Myuki." A said proudly. L only gave him a small nod of approval, but that was enough to make A's eyes light up.

L handed the girl back to A and proceeded to his temporary office as Quillish Wammy followed him. That would be all that the two, no three, of them would see of L while he was here. That's all they ever saw of L when he came. He would arrive, go to his office, and then leave when none of them were watching. L was a busy person. He was the world's greatest mind, and only at eight years of age. He could solve any crime he found entertaining or that had more than ten deaths involved. He would also take the crime if more than one million dollars were at stake.

Greedy. That's how B saw him. A greedy, shallow, selfish fool of no worth. B was better. B would some day prove he was better. How? He was unsure at the moment, but he would be better. Maybe, just maybe, the girl was his key. Maybe she would show him how.

B slowly made his way down the stairs again, after he was sure that L was out of sight. He curiously wandered over to the girl as A held her close. He peered inside the tightly wrapped bundle to see the baby girl staring up at him. Her eyes were dark and shrouded in mystery. Her thin, black hair was tasseled around her chubby face. She smiled up at him with an adorable smile of acceptance.

"Stay away from her, B." A hissed as he jerked her away from him. "She doesn't like you and never will."

B only stared at A as if he had just smacked him. B thought back to the smile the girl had presented him. Was it a smile of approval, acceptance? Or was it a smile of disgust and hatred? B was certain that it was approval… He knew the little Myuki accepted him. He wouldn't let A stand in his way.

His theory wads only supported by the baby when she began to cry. A looked down at her in horror as she wailed and sobbed.

"Now look what you've done!" B scolded. He quickly took the girl from A and began to soothe her crying. He smiled softly and quieted her.

She soon stopped and smiled back at him distantly. She looked as if she could see his name and lifespan above his head. She acted as if she could see 'Beyond Birthday – 18 years, 10 days' floating above his head. But of course, not even he knew when he would die. And when the baby smiled instead of frowned, he figured that she could not see his name or his lifespan.

He nuzzled the small child and sat down on the stairway where he had spent all of his days at the orphanage. She gave a small yawn and cooed in delight as A watched in disapproval. She fell asleep in B's arms as A gave him a cold stare and left the room.

B had won this battle. Myuki was his now. He wasn't going to let anyone change that. Not L. Not A. Not Quillish Wammy. Myuki – Anna belonged to him and only him.

B snuggled the baby close as she slept soundly in his arms. She smiled when she felt herself be pulled closer to him. For the first time since before he could remember, Beyond Birthday was happy… he was smiling.

Until he looked at the baby again and saw her lifespan… until he first really noticed how long she had to live… it wasn't long enough…

X ----- X ----- X

Eleven years later…

(April)

The grandfather clock chimed. Midnight. A door could be heard as a child tried to close it as silently as she could. It was heard.

A young boy of fifteen sat up from his place on the stairs. If it weren't for his pale skin, one wouldn't have been able to see him in the darkness of the witching hour.

The girl crept down the hall as the boy stood up and remained at the bottom of the stairs. When the girl rounded the corner she gave a small gasp to see B standing at the bottom step.

"What are you doing awake, Myuki, dear?" He said in a low whisper.

The girl's black eyes went wide when she heard his soothing voice, "And you yourself, why are you down here?" she questioned back.

"I believe I asked you first, Myu." He said with a soft smile and a muffled laugh.

"I was just…" she fumbled for an excuse, but her mind went blank. She who could tell a lie to anyone, could never tell a lie to B. For some strange reason, she found it impossible to say something untruthful to him.

He laughed, "Join me then, will you?"

She gave a small nod and raced down the stairs to his side. She sat beside him as he stared out into the darkness that surrounded them.

The baby Myuki that he once knew had grown into a beautiful young girl. Her long black hair and piercing black eyes gave her charming appearance an attractive spark. Her personality was kind and caring, but she was mischievous and got into trouble often.

She leaned her weight against him, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"I love you, B…" she said with a small content sigh. She often told him this, of course it was only seen, to her, as if he were a family member.

B loved her more than that, in a different way…

"I love you, too, Myuki…" he meant it. He had loved her since the very beginning. Over the years his love grew and changed. If Myuki were to leave that very moment, he would die inside. He knew when she would die and it killed him to know even that. He had tried to detach himself from her before, but he longed for her too much to stay that way.

She snuggled closer to him and he tightened his grip.

"Answer me this," she said, "What were you doing down here?" She looked up at him.

He stared straight ahead, "I…couldn't sleep…" He was avoiding the real truth - he was considering running away.

"That isn't true. I can see it in your eyes. What's wrong, B?" she asked, moving so close to him she was almost on his lap. Her deep, black eyes sparkled as she gazed up at him. He was her mentor, her parent, and even still he was something more to her. She couldn't explain how she felt about him. Her feelings were so mixed up. She was still a child, and yet she was a young lady. Even though she was mature intellectually, she still had feelings and emotions to develop.

B sighed, "My name, Myuki, is Beyond… From now on, when it is just us, I would like it if you called me Beyond… Around the others, though, please address me as B. I… don't want them knowing my real name." He thought of L and how much he would hate for L to find out about his real name.

"A-alright… I wish I had a secret for you, but I can't-"

He interrupted, "Your name, Myuki, is Anna…" He looked down at her with his eyes shining.

"Anna…" She repeated to herself, "I see. Then why do you call me Myuki?"

"Because it is for your own protection. If we called you by your real name, then every criminal would find it easier to kill you." He hated to tell her the truth. He hated even thinking that she would die… He looked away from her. It made no difference, though. The amount of her life that was left was burned into his mind. He could still see the numbers. He wished that there were a way he could extend them. He wished that there were a way to make her life longer, even if it meant he would have to give up his own.

He sighed.

Myuki remained silent.

Suddenly they heard someone coming down the hall. Both of them looked at each other and scrambled to stand up.

A young man, about nineteen, rounded the corner to the staircase. He stood there, clothed in a white shirt and faded blue jeans - as he always had been. He stared up at the two with his large, gray eyes.

"Uh… er…" Myuki fumbled for words. She always was at a loss of what to say when L was around.

"Beautiful evening, isn't it, B?" L asked, chewing on his thumb.

B simply nodded and said, "Yes… it is…" Myuki could sense the tension between the two.

"I hadn't expected anyone to be awake at this hour… I was hoping to slip out unseen. I guess not." He spoke in a soft, unruffled tone.

"Indeed," B hissed. "If you were going to be on your way, then go. If anyone asks, neither of us will say that we saw you leave."

"Oh, no… I wasn't concerned about that." L said. His eyes tore through Myuki, and she was uncomfortable just being in the same room with him.

"Tch…" B avoided his gaze and looked past him, to the door. As if he was indicating that he wanted L to leave.

"Actually," L added, "I was hoping to speak with Myuki before I left this time. It's coincidence she was awake and about." He tried to smile.

Myuki grimaced. L? Smiling? No. Just no. On her Beyond it looked adorable and cute, but on L… it was only disturbing and creepy.

"What do you need to say to her?" B said in a demanding voice.

"Mm… I prefer to speak with her alone…" he glanced at Myuki as her eyes grew wide.

"Uh… s-sure…?" she said, slightly dazed.

B glared at L, his eyes glowing with fury.

"Myuki, will you accompany me to my office?" he looked up at her, his eyes sparking with an innocence that she knew he didn't have.

She stepped down off the stairs and slowly made her way to him, glancing back at B every few steps of the way.

B only sighed and sat back down on the step as L led his Myuki away.

"He'd better not touch her… I swear if he does anything to her, I'll… I'll… I'll kill him…" he muttered to himself. He hoped and prayed that L wouldn't take Myuki, his Myuki, away from him.

When they reached his office, L offered Myuki a seat, as he took his own across from her at his desk. The office was small, but it functioned properly enough for L while he stayed at Wammy's.

Myuki watched L as he swiveled in his chair. He always sat with his knees against his chest. He said it helped him to think by some stupid percent he made up.

There was a long silence between the two of them. Both waited for the other to speak. L seemed preoccupied with his chair, and Myuki had no intentions of speaking first.

Finally, L broke the silence. "What's he like?" he asked plainly.

"Who?" Myuki stared at him. He didn't notice, or rather was avoiding making eye contact with her.

"B," he answered simply.

"Oh… well, he's very kind, sensitive, he's got a charming smile, and he-"

L interrupted, "I see… Would you ever consider leaving him?" Had he not heard every compliment and nice thing she said about Beyond?

"No." She answered firmly. She would never consider leaving Beyond behind.

"Oh? And if he remains here for the rest of his life, so will you?"

"Yes." Why was he asking her such things? She was becoming irritated with his games.

"I see. What if you were to only leave him… for a short while?"

"I don't know. It depends on how long, I guess."

"A month, maybe two."

She thought it over for a moment. "Yeah, I think that would be okay. As long as I came right back here after the month was up."

"Yes, you would."

"What do you need me that long for?"

"I have a case to take care of in the United States. I was hoping you would accompany me on the trip. Your abilities would prove useful. Then, when the promised month is up, I will return you here to the orphanage and that will be that." He avoided her gaze. She tried to understand why he was doing this, but because she couldn't make eye contact with him, it was hard to tell.

"I don't know. I'll have to ask B."

"No." L said suddenly, almost so much that it made her jump. "B must not know that you are on this case, nor must he know where you are going, or why."

"A-alright…" She wasn't about to question L. He was staring her down already, and it was making her extremely uncomfortable.

"So, will you accompany me?" He said more relaxed, but pressed the question on her. "I must have an answer tonight."

"Uh… sure… I guess I'll go…" she said. It would give her the opportunity to prove herself. Beyond would not be happy with her, but she would return home with her first successful case being solved, and then he would be proud.

"Splendid, go pack your things, please. We will be on our way soon." He made a full rotation in his chair.

"Wh-what?" she said, slightly taken aback.

"Pack please. Our flight leaves in no less than an hour." He stopped spinning the chair and ended up with his back to her. She couldn't see the two plane tickets he held in his hands. He knew she would say yes. She had no reason not to.

"O-of course…" she stood and made her way to the door.

"Oh, and Myuki?" L added.

"Yes?" she said, closing her eyes as her hand rested on the doorknob.

"Don't let anyone know you're leaving."

"Yes… Of course…" B would kill her. No, worse. He would cut her up and eat her alive. He despised L with every fiber of his being. What would he say to Myuki disappearing with L? What would he think might've happened to her? B would be furious. He would hate her, just like he hated L.

The thought alone made her stomach churn.

She reached the stairway where she had left her beloved Beyond sitting. He was no longer there. She gave a heavy sigh and went up the stairs.

"Beyond?" she called in a hoarse whisper, "B are you there?"

No reply. Only darkness echoed off the walls of the sleeping mansion.

Myuki gave a heavy sigh and proceeded down the hallway to her room. She picked out a bag and filled it with the few outfits she owned. Amongst the things she packed were a picture of B and one of his shirts that she had stolen from his room one night during a storm.

She hated storms. She always woke up when it was horrible outside. When the thunder and lightning became too much for her to handle on her own, she would race down the hall to Beyond's room. He always let her lay beside him, and he would stay awake and tell her stories until she fell soundly back asleep.

One morning when she woke up, he wasn't there. She had put on one of his shirts to keep warm during the night. Instead of taking it off and leaving it, she took it back to her room and hid it. When she put the shirt in her bag, she sniffed it. The shirt smelled like Beyond. His scent was a mixture of strawberry jam and hot tea. To her, this scent was a piece of heaven.

She would use the shirt for comfort purposes during the storms in the U.S. Though it wouldn't be the same without having Beyond just down the hallway.

She shoved the rest of her important belongings into her small travel bag and left the room. Myuki made her way down the hall and the stairs to see L standing at the door. He had no bags.

"Are you ready?" L asked monotonously.

Myuki gave a hesitant nod as she glanced back at the stairway. She could've sworn she saw someone standing at the top, but when she gave a second glance, no one was there. Myuki gave a small sigh. She had hoped that Beyond was there to stop her from going, but he was not, and did not.

She followed L out onto the cool, dark street. It was late in April. A dreary rain began to fall as the two walked up the sidewalk and climbed into a car destined for the airport.

Myuki glanced back at the orphanage as it disappeared from view. She had never been so far away from her home. She was excited, but scared. Mostly she was worried about Beyond. What would he say when she returned? Would he still be there?

She scolded herself for even thinking such a thing. Of course he would still be there. Why wouldn't he be? Even though she reassured herself that he wouldn't leave, the thought still remained in the back of her mind. She knew Beyond would act out harshly when he found out she was gone, but hopefully he would wait for her to return.

Myuki watched out the car window as all of her familiar town passed behind her. Far behind her. Rain drizzled on her window, as the skies seemed to be reading her mood. She absolutely hated doing this to Beyond, but if she were going to genuinely impress him, this is what she had to do.

The next morning, Beyond woke from the place where he had fallen asleep the night before. It was still early and no one had awakened yet. He began to search the house frantically for his Myuki. He looked everywhere. All the bedrooms, the stairway, L's office, the kitchen, the dining room, the living room, outside on the grounds. Myuki was nowhere to be found.

"L…" B gritted his teeth. "That heartless, ruthless, careless, self-righteous bastard!" he shouted. He didn't care if he woke the house. It would be considered an accomplishment for him.

He had given L credit for being able to drive A to his suicide, but to take Myuki away from him?! This had gone too far.

Beyond would show L. He would prove he was better. He would step on L and grind his petty little face into the ground. He would surpass L and get his Myuki back. How? He had it figured out now. He would show L. He would become the world's best and most memorable criminal. He would show L by becoming the one thing that L fought so hard against. B would take his Myuki back. He had it all figured out now.

And thus became the day that Beyond Birthday fled from Wammy's house. He would begin to put his plan into action. He would become obsessed with surpassing L, and every day he would stray farther and farther away from the real reason why he wanted to become higher than L. He never forgot Myuki, but she was no longer his main priority. In fact, she became nothing more than a memory. His new obsession was L, his plan to defeat L.

That's when the Los Angeles BB Murder Cases began.

X ----- X ----- X

A moth later…

(May)

"B?!" Myuki stepped inside the large door as she quickly turned to close it. Rain still managed to slip inside and the wooden floors were soaked. It was pouring outside.

"Myuki, dear!" Quillish Wammy ran from his office to greet the young girl. "How did the case go?" he asked excitedly, his eyes shining happily.

"We caught the culprit. It was so much fun! How have things been going here?" she asked, hopeful that her Beyond would show up to greet her any second.

"We've acquired three new residents," Wammy said cheerfully.

Within moments, two young boys appeared in the doorway from the living room. Another remained hidden, sitting on the floor behind the other two. The first one appeared to be about nine-years-old. He wore baggy, black pants and a baggy, black shirt. His blonde hair was in a bob-cut. His crystal blue eyes shot her a sharp glare of dislike. The second boy wore a black and white striped shirt that was two or three sizes too big. He had a handheld video game in his tiny hands. He had very round, green eyes that had a distant look to them. His brown hair was cut short and framed his face nicely. He looked younger than the blonde, but not by more than a year. The last boy remained seated on the floor behind the previous two. His white hair was in a tasseled fashion around his face. His faded gray eyes had a very deep look. Just by looking in them, one could get the feeling that this boy lived beyond his years. He was clothed in white and had very fair, pale skin. He certainly was the youngest, and looked so. He appeared to be a toddler, but it seemed unfit to call him so.

Myuki got a slight case of the chills as she examined the third child. The first continued to stare her down until she gave no reaction. He turned away with a discontented grunt. The second was too absorbed in his game to notice anyone else around him.

"Mello is the moody blonde," Wammy said with a laugh, "This is Matt," he introduced, pointing to the second, "and Near."

The white haired child stared up at Myuki with such deep, thoughtful eyes that Myuki was slightly unnerved.

Myuki turned to Wammy, "Where's B?" The new children meant nothing to her right now. She only cared about seeing Beyond again.

"He's…" Wammy gave a sigh, "Myuki, you must understand that this wasn't the place for him…"

She stared at him in disbelief and asked again, "Where is he…?"

"He… ran away. Not long after you left, actually…"

Myuki's eyes went wide. "No… He… he wouldn't leave me… He knew I would come back… no…" Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Myu…" Quillish Wammy took a step towards the broken-hearted girl.

"No!" she shouted, dropping her bag. She raced up the stairs and slammed the door to Beyond's room. She locked herself inside and collapsed to the floor.

His bed was made and his dressers empty. Other than that, the room appeared the same to her. Beyond's scent still lingered in the air.

Myu pulled herself up onto his bed and curled up into a ball. She felt so lost, so alone without him there. He had been with her always, and now he was gone. Did he not love her? Why would he just run away like that? Was it her fault? It had to be her fault. She left without telling him, and now he was gone forever. No, no. She scolded herself. She would find him. He would come back for her. She knew it.

As her mind got lost in her thoughts of Beyond's return, she almost missed hearing the barely audible knock at the door.

"Go away!" she shouted at the unknown visitor.

Something slid underneath the door. She got up to see what it was. The picture of Beyond that she had taken on her trip with her lay on the floor.

"Wha…?" she picked up the picture.

"I… thought it might help…" a small, quiet voice said. "I would send the rest through, but I'm afraid it won't fit underneath the door…"

Click. She unlocked the door and cracked it open. On the ground sat the small, white-haired boy called Near. He had her bag in his lap with Beyond's shirt on top.

She stared down at him in disbelief.

"I'm sorry… I thought it would help…" He offered up the bag. "I shouldn't have gone through your things."

Myuki gently took hold of the bag. "Th-thank you…" She wiped her eyes of the tears that had started to form.

"You already know, but I'm Near…" He looked down at the floor and began to twirl a lock of his hair.

"M-myuki… I'm Myuki…" she said quietly.

"It's a… pleasure." He looked up at her. His large, gray eyes gave her a soft, warm feeling, and yet the boy himself seemed so cold. Only one other person had ever made Myuki feel that icy-warm feeling before.

She started to tear up at the thought of him.

"…would you like to be alone?" he asked quietly, as if he were avoiding the question.

Myu shook her head no and wiped away the falling tears. She sank onto the floor and began to cry even more, unable to hold back her tears.

Near sat with her. He didn't say anything for the longest time. He only sat and twirled his hair.

"I'm so sorry…" she said, wiping her eyes once again. She felt like a fool for crying in front of him.

"It's fine," he said quietly, glancing up at her before quickly looking back down at the floor.

"No… it's not… I'm making a fool out of myself over someone who shouldn't matter…" Even thinking that Beyond didn't matter made her feel sick to her stomach.

"If you love someone, they will always matter to you…" Near said softly.

This boy, young in years, had said something that went straight through Myuki's heart. She suddenly felt as if someone had just stabbed a knife made of ice through her heart. She felt cold. Her heart felt cold.

She clutched her stomach, feeling sick.

Near's eyes got wide, "Are you alright?" He placed a small hand on her shoulder.

She doubled over. Tears came again.

"I'm sorry…" That was all the boy could think of to say before he pulled Myuki closer to him. He wrapped his frail arms around her and comforted her.

Myuki would normally have pulled away and slammed the door in his face, but she didn't have the strength. Instead she let him hold her and comfort her.

He began to lightly stroke her hair. Footsteps came from the stairway. The blonde boy, Mello, appeared. He stared at the two. Near paid him no notice, and Myuki was crying to hard to even care that he was standing there. His blue eyes stared blankly at them before he slowly turned and walked back down the hallway.

Near continued to comfort Myuki until her tears ceased. She sat up and took her bag, mumbling a simple thank you and crawling into Beyond's room. She shut the door slowly.

Near sighed and remained in front of the door. He remained sitting there for hours.

Near stood up and opened the door to the room. Myuki was lying on the bed, cuddling the black shirt that had been on top of the bag. He gave her a small smile when he saw that she was finally sound asleep.

Near quietly closed the door and went back downstairs where a lonely brown teddy bear sat waiting for him. He picked up the bear and proceeded to a corner where he sat alone, observing everything. He had made a friend and had started a new life here. He was no longer Nate River. He was Near, and Near had befriended a very lonely, very needy Myuki.

X ----- X ----- X

Several months later…

(February)

The window fogged up around a blonde head. With a heavy sigh, he turned from the window. A young white-haired boy sat on the floor beside a couch where a young girl sat reading. She looked up at the disappointed blonde.

"Anything yet?" she asked hopefully.

"No," Mello sighed. He wandered over to the boy that was absorbed in his handheld game.

Matt was paying no attention to Mello until the frustrated blonde took the game from him. Matt grabbed for the game.

"Mello, give it back!" he shouted. Mello began to run around the room, game in hand. Matt chased him. The two boys were at it until Mello became bored and gave the game back to the distraught Matt. The small blonde head bobbed back over to the window.

Myuki went back to her book, and Near stared off into space undisturbed.

Mello gave a bored sigh and the window fogged up around his face again. Suddenly, his eyes went wide.

"Myuki! Myuki, it's snowing!" he shouted, racing to the door as Myu set her book aside.

She got up and fled to the door, a small white head followed behind her like a shadow. Myuki pulled on her coat and handed Near his own snow white one.

Mello laughed, "Be careful, you might lose him out there!" Myuki shot him a glare and he bolted out the door, laughing hysterically.

She bolted out after him and tackled him to the ground. The two children rolled in the snow. Near began to build up a snow fort and Matt decided not to join them.

Mello scrambled up and ran from Myuki. She sat up and wadded up a ball of snow. She chucked it at Mello as hard as she could. The flying ball of snow hit the boy square in the back of the head and he toppled over onto the ground. He quickly got up and hurled a makeshift snowball at the highly amused Myuki. It landed beside her and she stood up.

"This is WAR!!" she shouted, ducking behind Near's fort.

He smiled up at her, "I'll make snowballs if you throw them." She nodded and he began to make perfect snowballs, stock piling them near the center of his fort. Myuki began to throw the balls at the freestanding Mello. It wasn't hard to hit him, but when he threw them back, Myuki was able to duck behind the fort.

"It's no fair!" he whined, "You have a little genius on your side! You can plan strategies!"

Myuki appeared with a snowball in hand, "You're supposed to be a genius! Plan your own strategies!" She sent a snowball flying through the air.

Mello ducked, "Yeah, right!" He threw the snowball in his hand at Myuki's head. She didn't have time to duck behind the fort before the ball hit her right on the cheek.

"Ow!" her hand flew to her face and she fell back behind the fort. Near crawled over to see if she was all right.

Mello raced over to see if he had injured her. "You okay!?" he asked through muffled laughs.

Myuki stood up and grabbed the last snowball from the stash. A look of anger exploded on her face. "That HURT, Mello!" She shouted at the blonde. She pelted him with the snowball. Hard.

"Ouch!" he screeched. He wanted to hit her, but she had already stormed off back up to the house.

Near gave Mello a look of awe as he stumbled off the ground and inside after Myuki. He left his coat and shoes by the door where Myuki had left hers to dry.

"Myu?" he glanced in the living room, but only saw Matt playing his video game. Her book was gone off the table and his brown bear sat alone on the floor. He wandered quietly over to it and picked it up, cuddling it close in his arms.

"She's upstairs." Matt said, not bothering to look up from his game. "Came in, stormed off up the stairs, and slammed the door to that room that she always goes in when she's upset."

"Thanks…" Near turned away and started up the stairs. He decided not to disturb her, so he sat outside beside the door.

Every time that Myuki got upset, Near would patiently wait outside Beyond's room for her. He always waited for her. He didn't mind. She was his best friend, his only friend. The kids at Wammy's had to stick together.

After a short while, Near fell asleep. Quietly into the night, the door opened. Myuki stepped out silently and smiled down at the sleeping Near. She scooped him up in her arms

"I… waited for you…" he said sleepily.

"I know… thank you…" She smiled and took Near to his room.

She kicked open the door and made her way past the sleeping Mello. Matt's bed was still empty. He was most likely down in the living room, still playing his games. Myuki made her way to the far wall. She lay Near in his bed. Tucking him in, she kissed his forehead lightly.

"Good night, Near…" she said, brushing his hair out of his eyes. He only clutched the small bear he had with him and rolled over, fast asleep.

Myuki crept quietly out of the room and shut the door behind her. She sighed and leaned against the door. Life was nothing to her anymore. She always felt so alone now that Beyond was gone. Even though she had Near, Mello, and sometimes Matt, she still longed for the space in her heart that belonged to Beyond.

Without realizing it, Myuki slowly made her way down the hall to the stairway. She sat down on the step where Beyond had made his regular visits to her. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she felt alone. Cold and alone. Cold tears formed in the corners of her eyes. It was difficult. Life was difficult. The tears fell.

"Crying won't bring him back," a vaguely familiar voice said from the darkness. Myuki looked up to see L standing before her on the bottom step. Clothed in his plain white shirt and blue jean glory, he stared up at her.

She wiped her eyes and tried to glare at L, but she was too upset to be mad at anyone right now. She could hardly do anything at night but cry. It took too much effort. When she was alone and it was dark, she was too afraid. Most of the time she would cry herself to sleep in Beyond's old room.

"Why would he…? Why did he…?" she stumbled over her words like she used to when L spoke with her.

"I'm sorry…" L muttered. He shoved his pale hands into his pockets. Looking down, his hair fell into place. He looked so much like Beyond. Or I guess one could say, Beyond looked so much like him, seeing that L was older.

"It doesn't matter… He'll come back. I know my B will come back for me." She forced a smile as tears began to shine through again. For however long it took, she would keep telling herself that.

"Of course," L said quietly. He stepped down off the step and started back towards his office.

"L?" She said quickly, surprising even herself that she could project her voice with so much force in the dark hour. She stood up in case she might have to run after him if he tried to walk away.

His head snapped around so quickly it made her jump. "Yes?"

"Can… can you find him?" she asked hesitantly.

"I already have a team searching for him, but yes. We will find him. I'm afraid that I cannot force him to come home, though."

"I… see…" Myuki hung her head.

"I can," added L, "tell you of his whereabouts…"

She looked up. "Thank you, L." L nodded and continued down the hallway to his office.

Myuki gave a heavy sigh and lugged herself up to her room. She fell over onto her bed and slowly drifted off to sleep, her dreams filled with strawberry jam and images of her Beyond.

X ----- X ----- X

Three years later…

(August)

Myuki wandered the halls of the mansion. A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she turned the corner, heading to the kitchen for some tea.

"Oh!" she exclaimed as she nearly bumped into a small blonde that was rounding the corner a little too quickly. "Excuse me…" The fifteen-year-old smiled sheepishly.

Mello looked up at her, "What are you doing up here?" he demanded. "Didn't you know that L's home?"

Myuki's eyes went wide, "L's… home?"

"Yeah! Only for a short wile." Mello grabbed Myu's hand and jerked her down the hallway. "C'mon!" Myu obediently followed.

The young blonde raced down the hall and stumbled down the stairs. A very calm, black-haired detective smiled up at Myuki as she shied her way around the corner.

Over the years, L's smile had grown to be less creepy, and his visits to the orphanage became looked forward to by Myuki. He never changed, though. She still had a certain form of dislike for L, and she probably always would.

"Myuki, may I speak with you?" he said quietly, motioning for her to follow him down the hall and to his office.

She nodded quickly and raced down the stairs to meet him in his office. Paying no attention to the little white-haired boy that sat at the bottom of the steps, she practically slammed the door to his office shut. She took a seat on the edge of the chair and looked at L with hopeful eyes.

"You've found him!?" she asked excitedly.

L gave a slow nod, "Yes, we've found him, but-"

She cut him off, "Where is he? I want to see him!" Jumping out of her chair, she slammed her hands down on the desk in demand.

"Myuki, what you must understand is-"

"No, L! I want to see him. Tell me where he is!" She was getting frustrated with L. Had he not promised to tell her where Beyond was located when he found out?

L sighed, "It's not that simple. I don't know his exact location, but I can give you a city and a general region. Myuki, you must understand that he might not be in good-"

"What city?" She interrupted again, pushing herself away from the desk. She felt she looked more intimidating if she stood up straight.

"Myuki, please let me speak. B isn't in great-"

"What city!?" she persisted. It was clear that she didn't care about what L had to say.

L sighed and spoke softly, holding out a plane ticket, "Los Angeles, California, United States." He turned around in his chair so that his back was to her. "Your flight leaves this morning at two. Please be ready to go by then. I'll have a car waiting out front for you." He didn't show her the extra plane ticket that he held in his hand, wanting to go with her to L.A.

"Thank you," she mumbled. Turning to leave swiftly, she pocketed the ticket. She would begin packing right away.

She burst out of the office and raced up the stairs. Near tried to stop her, but she was a blur as she ran past him. He only gave a heavy sigh and went back to the puzzle he was working on.

Myuki threw all of her possessions into a bag. She was careful to make sure that her faded picture of Beyond wasn't wrinkled and that his shirt was placed neatly on top. Glancing at the clock, she sat down on her bed and took out the plane ticket. She had four hours to wait for her flight. She could leave the house at 1:00 and make it to the airport on time, but still that was four hours she had to wait and the more she anticipated it, the longer it would take.

The hours ticked away. As soon as the clock on her dresser ticked over to say 1:00 a.m. she slipped out of her room with her small bag. As she passed by the stairway, she thought of how she couldn't wait to sit there once again with her Beyond. A heavy sigh escaped her lips. She began to force the large door to the manor open.

"Where are you going?" a soft voice asked as a cool breeze of the August morning rushed to greet her.

She whirled around to see Near standing there, clinging to his small brown teddy bear. He looked so small and helpless. She sighed.

"I'm going away for a while… I'll be back, I promise." It felt so wrong to leave the little eleven-year-old. He was like her little brother now, and she almost couldn't bear to think that she wouldn't see him again. She would, though. She would bring Beyond back, too. Her family would be together again. She wouldn't be left feeling so broken inside anymore.

Near sighed, "Oh…" he looked down at the ground and shuffled his feet. "A-alright, then…" He turned around and started back up the stairs.

Myuki dropped her bag and ran after him. She threw her arms around him and held him tight. "You were always my favorite, Near…" she whispered in his ear/

"Nate…" he said quietly. "You can call me Nate."

Myuki smiled as she looked down at him. "Alright." She sighed and turned back around, starting back down the stairs.

"M-Myu, wait…" he said, grabbing for her sleeve. She spun back around and he thrust his small brown bear into her arms.

She blinked, stunned for a moment, "N-near, this is yours…" she muttered.

"I want you to keep him…" speaking quietly, he looked down and let go of her sleeve, "That way… if you don't come back… you won't forget me."

"Oh, Near… I wouldn't ever forget you." She gave him another hug, "but I'll take good care of him. I promise." She kissed the top of his head and then left back down the stairs. She picked up her bag and turned to say one last goodbye, but the little boy clothed in white was gone.

Myuki gave a heavy sigh and cracked open the door. She was met with a cool summer breeze as she snuck out of the quiet mansion and onto the sleeping streets of England.

_What if I don't come back? _she thought to herself,_ No, don't even consider it._ She gazed back at her beautiful home and started on her way to the airport.

The next day, after she arrived in L.A., she began her search. The American culture fascinated her. She was using an old headquarters that was L's. It was small, but it would be enough for her.

On her third day in L.A. she decided to turn on the news and see what was going on in her area, hoping maybe something would help her find Beyond. It was a stretch, but she decided to try anyways.

"The Wara Ningyo Murders seem to be quieting down. Police still have not found the culprit. The first three victims; Believe Bridesmaid, Quarter Queen, and Backyard Bottomslash-" the news announcer continued on with the story as pictures of the victims flashed across the screen.

"Dear God…" Myu mumbled as the second victim's picture flashed across the screen. The girl, Quarter Queen, looked no less than two years younger than she was. "Who could be so malice as to kill a young girl?" she sighed and turned off the television. She had seen enough.

As Myuki got up to make breakfast, the phone rang.

"Yes?" she asked. The ID showed no caller information, which meant it was probably L calling.

"Myuki, I was wondering if I could ask for your assistance for today?" he got right to the point.

My was slightly annoyed with his synthetic voice calling to check in on her every few hours, but for now she decided to play nice. "What do you need me for?"

"I was wondering if you could please remain at a local condominium for the day. I have a case that requires backup and I think you would be very useful."

She sighed. This might be the only favor she would have to do for L while she was here. She might as well get out of the house for a day. There was no progress on her own search for Beyond and she needed a break. "Alright. Where?"

He proceeded to tell her the location. Then he hung up.

Myuki headed off to the location. Most of the day she spent wandering the halls, unsure of what she should do. She spotted a few other people several times throughout the day, guessing that they were also part of L's backup team.

At around half past six, an oriental woman carrying a gun came flying down the hallway. Myuki shrieked in surprise at the sight of the gun. The woman only stared at her before continuing down the hall in a hurry and rounding the corner sharply. Shortly after, a scream was heard, followed by a gunshot. Myuki's eyes widened as she darted off after the woman.

Smoke that was weighted with the scent of burning flesh was quickly flooding the hallway. Room 404 was its source. Myu skidded to a stop and peered inside the room.

"D-did something happen?" she asked, staring at the woman. The girl was standing over a man who was badly burned. He whimpered and looked up at her. Those eyes. No. It… it couldn't be.

"FBI. Call the police, the fire department, and an ambulance." She said sternly. Myuki nodded and left the scene. Behind her, she could hear the woman's harsh voice saying, "Rue Ryuzaki, I arrest you on suspicion of the murders of Believe Bridesmaid, Quarter Queen, and Backyard Bottomslash. You do not have the right to remain silent. You do not have the right to an attorney. You do not have the right to a fair trial." Every time she spoke, she spoke with more force in her voice.

Myuki called 911 and requested for every emergency vehicle that the woman named. She hung up with the operator and drug herself back to the room

"They're on their way…" she muttered, looking down. The woman had him in handcuffs and was pulling him off the floor.

"Good." She jerked on the culprit and he cried out in pain.

"What… what did this man do?" Myuki asked softly as her heart sank.

"He killed three people, miss." She jerked again. He threw his head back and cried out again.

"Myuki… My name is Myuki…" she said as the killer lowered his head. As soon as the words left her lips, his eyes went wide.

"A-n-naa…" he groaned.

Myuki blinked her tears away. "Thank you for catching this man…"

"Of course." The woman gave her a small smile as the sounds of multiple sirens filled the air around them.

Myuki held back tears and slipped around the corner, away from the criminal.

"Noooo!" she heard the man cry, "No! No!" Myuki cringed as Beyond Birthday's cries filled the air.

"Shut up!" she heard the FBI agent shout, silencing the man's blood curdling cries.

Myuki shuffled out of the condominiums as the police, firemen, and paramedics filed in. She walked the streets of L.A. for hours. She didn't want to go home. She didn't want to talk to anyone. She didn't want to cry. And yet the tears came. She cried and walked the streets alone. Night fell.

"Hey, missy, shouldn't a young pretty girl like yourself be at home?" a man clothed in rags asked as she walked past where he was seated on the street.

She stopped walking and looked at him, "I have no home…" she said forcibly through her tears.

"Oh…" he gave her a rusty smile, "Why are you sad, missy?"

Tell him? She found it absurd to explain it to someone with no life at all. "I found him… I finally found him…"

"Found who?"

"…my world… the person that I love… my Beyond…" she choked back tears the welled up in her eyes. A knot formed in her throat.

"Then why cry, missy? Ain't that somethin' to celebrate?"

"He… just got arrested… for killing three people…"

The man's eyes went wide, "You love a killer, missy? That's kinda-"

She cut him off, "No. I haven't seen him in years… I didn't know he was a killer."

"Ah… people change y'know…" he said solemnly.

"More than you'd like… and in different ways than you'd expect…" she mumbled. "I should be going hone now. Thank you, mister." She turned away from the homeless man and started on her way to the bus stop.

"Good luck, missy," he called after her.

When Myuki finally got close to being home, her phone vibrated.

No number. It was L.

She picked it up. "Why didn't you tell me?" she said, choking over her tears. "Why didn't you tell me he was like this!?"

"Myuki, please… I tried." The synthetic voice sighed. Myuki was so fed up with that damn synthetic voice. He had no need to protect himself from her. Why use it when he called?

She said nothing, but cried softly to herself. She had nothing to say to L.

"Myuki… would you like to see him?"

She thought it over for a moment. "No." is what she wanted to say, but a quiet, forced "Yes." escaped her thoughts.

"I'll make arrangements for you to visit him at the prison hospital." He then hung up.

Myuki dried her eyes and crawled up to her apartment. Unable to make it to the bed, she grabbed Beyond's shirt and Near's bear and curled up on the couch.

That night she slept lightly and woke up every few hours. She spent most of the night trying to cry herself to sleep. She wanted to see Near. To hold him. To have him hold her. She felt so stupid for leaving him behind. All of it had happened so fast. She had finally found Beyond, but he had slipped away again just as quickly. She longed for him, and yet it seemed everything she did only distanced her from him.

A few days later, with hardly any sleep at all, a knock on the door aroused the lightly sleeping Myuki. She had only just fallen asleep an hour ago.

"Nnn…" she rolled off the couch to answer the door. "Yes?" Myu wiped her eyes to see L standing there. Didn't he know it was early in the morning? Myuki glanced at the clock. 10:00 a.m. Damn, her theory went down the drain. "What are you doing here, L?" she mumbled.

"I thought perhaps you and I could go see B today," he said, pushing past her and entering the apartment.

"Oh… Let me go get changed. Then we can go." She wandered past him and into the bedroom. Pulling on clean clothes quickly, she then proceeded to ride with L to the police station.

"Here we are. You may call me when you're done," he instructed, motioning for her to get out.

"You aren't coming?"

"B will not speak with me."

Chicken.

"A-alright…" She climbed out of the car and wandered cautiously into the prison. After getting through security, they led her to a very quiet, whitewashed part of the prison hospital.

"You have one hour," the very husky looking nurse said as she shoved Myuki into the room and shut the door behind her.

Myu only stood there, looking, gazing at Beyond. She didn't move. She couldn't speak. She almost wouldn't breathe. Cold tears rolled down her cheeks as she gazed upon the burned killer she once knew.

Beyond lay on the hospital bed, his head turned her way. His large green eyes were unharmed from the burns. He watched the seconds on her lifespan tick away. He couldn't stand to watch, so he turned his head away.

She took a step closer.

He sighed.

Both their hearts raced.

Neither spoke.

Finally, Myuki broke the silence. "Why…?" she began to choke back tears again. "A thirteen-year-old girl, Beyond! Why!?"

"It's… just as horrible… to kill a child… as it is an adult…" he said brokenly, quietly. His eyes flared as her tears fell.

"Beyond, you idiot!" she shouted and turned to run out of the room.

"Myuki, wait…" he said, controlling his own slight buildup of tears and preventing them from falling on his charred skin. She stopped with her back to him and he spoke, "I… I'm…" Could he lie to her and say he was sorry? He surely wasn't, and she would know it.

"I love you, Beyond… I love you more than anything in the world, but if you're going to live your life this way… I can't… I can't stay here." She vaulted off the floor and sprinted down the hall, tears streaming down her face.

"I… love you, too…" he muttered quietly as he lost all control of his tears. They began to stream down his burnt face. It hurt to cry, but he deserved the pain. He had hurt his Myuki. He never intended for her to find him. What had he been thinking? What had he become? He would probably never see her again. She had very little time left in this world, and it would probably be his fault that she would die. He had been the cause of her other pains, why wouldn't her death be his fault as well?

Myuki raced home. She didn't bother to call L. She didn't want to see or talk to L anyways. She hated L. She hated L for making Beyond like this. She wanted L to die. She wanted him to burn in hell.

Arriving home, Myu slammed the door of the apartment and threw herself onto the bed. She had cried all her tears and now she was angry with them all. It was everyone's fault that her Beyond was like this. It was their fault that he had changed, and yet she knew it wasn't. Somehow she couldn't convince herself that it was anyone's fault but Beyond's… and possibly her own…

Tired, angry, sad, and a whirlwind of other emotions, Myuki curled up on the bed and cried herself to sleep once more.

August 22, 2002 was not Myuki's favorite day of the year. She loathed it. She forever would…

X ----- X ----- X

Two years later…

(January)

"The mysterious heart attacks continue as Kira seems to spin out of contro-" Myuki changed the channel. It seems Kira was the only thing people would talk about these days.

She stood up with a sigh to go eat a jar of strawberry jam from the fridge. It always calmed her nerves to do so, and the talk of Kira was making her feel very worked up. Especially since Kira punished criminals…

"Maybe… I should go see him today… it's been a few years," she let thoughts of Beyond linger in her mind as she scooped up some jam with her fingers. Licking it off quietly, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Myuki… I… have some bad news…" L's synthetic voice spoke disappointedly into the phone.

"What is it, L?" She glanced down at the counter to the pad of paper that had the number for Wammy's house on it. She had tried to get hold of Near to invite him to see her in L.A., but when she finally was able to speak with someone, they told her that there were no residents named Near, Mello, or even Matt.

"B is dead."

Myuki nearly dropped the phone. Paralyzed, she stood.

"Myuki?"

She couldn't speak. She couldn't move. B? Dead? No. No, there was no way he was dead. He was so strong. He couldn't be dead.

"Myuki?" L said impatiently, "Are you there?"

"Y-yeah…" she said, snapping back to reality.

"He was killed by Kira, I'm afraid… They cremated his body, would you like to pick up the ashes?"

"No… but thank you for informing me L…" She hung up.

B? Dead? No. No… Myuki's world suddenly came spiraling downward. She looked at the jar of jam on the counter with a sick stomach. She turned to the sink and grasped the edges as tightly as she could- she threw up. Her knuckles turned white, and she threw up again.

The taste in her mouth wasn't only jam. No. A salty, bloody flavor was absorbed into her mouth.

After throwing up in the sink several times, she turned calmly to get a dishtowel and wipe her mouth. Stumbling over to the couch, she could only keep a distant stare out the window and onto the streets of Los Angeles.

For days, all she did was sit on the couch and stare out the window. She didn't say anything. She didn't move. She didn't eat or drink. She didn't sleep. If the phone rang, she let it ring. When someone knocked on her door, she ignored it. She was dead inside. Nothing could bring her back.

Finally, she was able to pull herself off the couch and into the bedroom. Fumbling around in the back of the closet, she pulled out a plastic case. She bothered with the locks until the case opened and a loaded revolver sat on top.

Picking up the gun, she placed it to her head and muttered her last words into the empty air, "I'm sorry… I loved you… and now it's too late…"

It was time. Her lifespan hit zero. January 28, 2004. Anna Makesman, formerly known as Myuki, committed suicide thinking she had nothing left in this world.

X ----- X ----- X

Several years later…

(October)

A small figure made his way to the back of the graveyard where a simple grave marked a dead body that lay feet below the surface of the ground. A bullet wound resided in the body's head. The small figure clothed in white twirled his hair as he sat in silence, staring at the grave.

"I knew you'd never come back…" he muttered as he laid a small brown teddy bear against the headstone. Turning away with only a single tear in his eye, he left the graveyard without paying any notice to the other grave. This grave had the ashes of a killer… a killer he would never forgive.


End file.
